Annoy DN 101
by Yasui Kikei
Summary: A tutorial on how to get under your favorite Death Note character's skin. :D
1. L Ryuzaki

_**Note: I have nothing to do with DN. But then again, you probably know that.**_

--

_L Ryuuzaki:_

1. When doing his laundry, throw in a red shirt... all of his white shirts will be PINK! And when he wears it tell him he looks pretty, and the pink really makes his eyes pop.

2. Replace all the sweets in his house with fruits and veggies, and change all of his sugar bowls with Splenda.

3. Call him every letter in the alphabet, except L.

"Hey K!"

"It's L."

"Oh, sorry S."

"I said it's L."

"That's what I said, R!"

4. Whenever he's making a dramatic speech about justice, wave the American flag (or any national flag except Japan's) behind his head while humming the national anthem to that country.

5. Whenever he's sitting in his (adorably) weird way... push him over and start laughing manically.

6. At the end of his every sentence yell, "FOR JUSTICE! ...AND CANDY!"

7. As serious and dramatic as you possible, tell him you know the TRUE identity of Kira. When he seems interested, slowly lift up a picture of him.

8. Constantly scold him about his posture, and then hit him in the back with a ruler.

9. Give him an impossible riddle to solve, and when he can't do it, question his detective skills.

"Hey Y, if you're sliding down the road on a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes fill up a doghouse?"

"..."

"Hm...And you call yourself a detective. walks away disgustedly"

10. Hug him, and when he tells you to let go, hug him even tighter.

11. Narrate his every move with the voice that they use in previews for movies.

12. Constantly wonder aloud in front of his task force if "he is the real Kira."

13. Whenever he say's something clever say, "It's elementary, my dear Watson."

14. Take him on a surprise trip to the dentist! Extra points if you make him cry.

15. On Christmas, give him a box of chocolates and apologize for how you've treated him...but dump out all the chocolate prior to giving it to him and replace it with a Hello Kitty toothbrush and "Berry Cherry" toothpaste.

16. Put laxatives inside his sweets.

17. Show him the episode where he handcuffed himself to Light, then add chidingly "You seemed to enjoy that situation all too much, L. Is there something I should know?"

18. Lock him and Mello in one room and place a single piece of chocolate in the center. After one hour, peek inside to see which one is still alive.

19. Follow him around and call him Panda-Chan.

20. Lick his cheek and say that he tastes like strawberries.

21. Program his computer to pull up Misa porn pop-up adds, then explain to everyone that's why he constantly hugs his knees to his chest.

22. Whenever you hear word of another death by Kira, laugh maniacally in front of L. Make sure to whisper, "All according to plan...", and then rub your hands together.


	2. Light Yagami

_**Note: Yet again, I have nothing to do with Death Note.**_

--

_Light Yagami:_

1. Play "sexy back" every time he walks by.

2. Sing "What if god was one of us?" when you sit next to him, and occasionally look at him while singing.

3. Pull an imaginary string next to his head and make a clicking sound; indicating a lamp

4. Put an apple in the crotch of his pants and leave him in the room—alone--with Ryuk.

5. Call "Have fun you two party animals!" while you walk out

6. Slip pages of LxLight yaoi between the pages of the Death Note.

7. Nag him about his last name spelled backwards, being "I'm A Gay"

8. Write "I 3 Kira" on his face with sharpie while he's sleeping, then take a picture. Afterward, send it to L.

9. Accuse him of having a relationship with Ryuk. If he objects, tell him he hurt Ryuk's feelings.

10. When he claims he isn't, say, "Oh, so then you're with Ryuzaki...?"

11.Catch him when he's having a fake romantic moment with Misa and yell "DATE RAPE!"

12. Every time he walks by, yell "DON'T KILL ME!"

13. Ask him if he's caught himself yet.

14. Scream "KAMI!", then bow down to him.

15. When he's having a serious moment, or is making a crazy face, slowly and dramatically come up behind his shoulder and imitate his insane laugh.

16. Laugh over his voice using said maniac laugh every time he tries to say something important 17. Yell "SAKUJO!" every time he writes down a name in his Death Note.

18. When he's writing a name in the Death Note, bump his arm so he makes a mistake.

19. On Halloween, cosplay as Ryuk and stand behind him, doing a pelvic thrust repeatedly. Make sure he doesn't notice, though.

_God_

_Eliminate_


	3. Ryuk the Shinigami

_**You know the drill...**_

--

_Ryuk the Shinigami:_

1. Tear up the Death Note with an office shredder, and show Ryuk the pieces.

2. Say, "CLOWNS ARE STUPID!" to his face. (making fun of his makeup)

3. Tell Ryuk that you won't give him any apples for five weeks. Then give him an apple after five minutes. Extra points if he starts crying.

4. Extend your hand with an apple in it, and when he reaches for it jerk your hand back and say, "Silly Shinigami, apples are for kids!"

5. Dye his hair gray; he'll think he's aging.

6. Say, "You look like a duck!" fifty times to his face.

7. Hide an apple somewhere on your person, and when he tries to get it yell "RAPE!"

8. Ask if he ever watched Light masturbate. No matter if he answers or ignores the question, keep asking him.

9. Eventually, ask him if he _enjoyed_ watching Light masturbate.

10. Pull on his ears and state that he reminds you somewhat of a monkey.

11. Point out the fact that having blue skin is probably a sign of malnutrition

12. Restrict his apple consumption limit to two apples a day.

13. Tell him that, to solve his apple withdrawal symptoms, he just needs to go to an AA meeting. (Apple's Anonymous)

14. Give him a picture of Rem in a bathing suit, then add embarrassingly, "She said to give this to you as a present."


End file.
